8.22.2008

O cliente NÃO tem sempre razão...

E eis um blog hilariante. Pequenas histórias reais de empregados ou gerentes de comércio, restaurantes, bares ou outros serviços com atendimento ao público que têm que aturar clientes atrasados mentais e insuportáveis. A prova definitiva de que o cliente não tem sempre razão. Ficam aqui três exemplos e o link para o site:

So Dumb It Hurts

Veterinarian | Orlando, FL, USA

(I work at a vet’s office, and am giving a woman and her three children basic grooming information for their new puppy. The conversation has already been going on for an hour.)

Me: “… the groomers can do different ‘cuts’ or ’styles’ for your dog, depending on how you want him to look.”
Customer: “Will that hurt?”
Me: “Will what hurt?”
Customer: “Cutting him, will it hurt when you cut him?”
Me: “No… it’s not cutting HIM, it’s just cutting his fur.”
Customer: “Oh… but will that hurt?”
Me: “No… it’s hair.”
Customer: “Are you sure it won’t hurt when you cut it?”
Me: “It’s just like when you get your own hair cut. Does it hurt when you get your hair cut?”
Customer: *looks confused*
Me: “Okay… well no, it won’t hurt.”
(I then go on to other aspects of grooming… clipping toe nails, cleaning the ears, etc.)
Me: “… you can clean the puppy’s ears if they get dirty, or just whenever you give him a bath.”
Me: *goes over the ear cleaning process*
Customer: “Will it hurt? ”
Me: “No… he may not like it, and may shake his head, but it shouldn’t hurt. Just make sure you don’t stick anything, like a Q-Tip, into his ear.”
Customer: “Okay, so how do I do that?”
Me: *goes over the ear cleaning process again*
Me: “… and again, just whenever you give him a bath…”
Customer: “Okay, how do I do that? ”
Me: “Well, there are several different shampoos you can use…”
Customer: “But how do I do that?”
Me: “You mean… how do you actually give him a bath?”
Customer: “Yes, how do I do that?”
Me: “Just like you’d bathe your kids… the puppy’s small, so you can bathe him in the sink, or in the bath tub…”
Customer: “But how do I bathe him?”
(At this point, I look at the woman’s three children, and wonder how they’ve survived their mother.)
Me: “Umm… you put water on him… err… you know, we have full-service grooming here, it includes a bath, we’ll do everything for you… cut his toe nails, clean his ears, trim his hair…”
Customer: “But we don’t want to hurt him. Will a bath hurt?”
Me: “It’s WATER!”

Big Lies Are Better Than Small Ones

Liquor Store | Willimantic, CT, USA

(Often I enter the beer cooler with shorts, a t-shirt and some rubber-hand work gloves on.)

Me: *walks out of the cooler*
Customer: “Are you f***ing insane? It’s freezing in there.
Me: “I don’t mind it.”
Customer: “That’s bulls***! You know it’s cold. Why would you lie to me?”
Me: “Excuse me? I’m pretty sure I know my own tolerance and I’m working so I get a bit warm, even in there.”
Customer: “WARM!? In a COOLER!? You’re a G**D*** LIAR! How can you be WARM in THERE!”
Me: “I’m Canadian, and ever since my igloo melted I only feel at home in there.”
Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know. I’m sorry for your loss.”


The Not-So-Difficult Art Of Misdirection

Fencing Club | Canada

Me: “Hello, ****** Fencing Club.”
Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for some galvanized pipe.”
Me: “I’m sorry, I think you may be confused. This is a fencing club… you know, the sport. We don’t actually make fences.”
Customer: “Oh… you see, I’m making a cage for a parrot. Do you have any galvanized pipe?”
Me: “No, I don’t think you understand. We don’t have material for building fences, we do sword fighting here. It’s a sport. Foils, epees, sabres.”
Customer: “Oh, okay… it needs to be galvanized so that it won’t chip if the parrot bites it.”
Me: “I don’t think you’re following me. We don’t build fences here, and we don’t have pipe.”
Customer: “Oh, I see… you see, I need to make the cage for a movie set, and it needs to be galvanized so that it doesn’t chip if the parrot bites it.”
Me: *giving up* “Galvanized pipe, you say?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: “Try the Soccer Centre.”
Customer: “The Soccer Centre?”
Me: “Yeah, the Soccer Centre.”
Customer: “Thank you!”

Nenhum comentário: